What’s Your Sign

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Being an Aries is a difficult feat.  Our conviction, our ideas, our truths our need for progress are what drive us.  We are often criticized for our “Negative Traits” as if they define us and most over look our positive traits.
Traits of an Aries

Negative: Impatient, Impetuous, Selfish, Jealous, Vain, Prideful, Egotistical, Ruthless, Possessive, and Violent are often associated with us.

Positive:  Spontaneous, Brazen, Action Oriented,  Courageous, Open, and Innovative are never seen

As a Daughter (Child)
We love and respect our parents even though they see us as wild and rebellious.  We stick to our beliefs.  We have a vision and while we may not express it in a way you can understand, our respect for you is constantly at the front of our minds.  We are destined for greatness and a lot of time we try to show it but, what you see is us acting out.  We want to prove to you, we can achieve what you need from us but, let us do it our way (we are thinkers; always looking to find a better way to be successful).
As a Friend
We “feel the more the merrier” meaning it’s ideal to have more friends however, our friends find it difficult to befriend us because we do not place energy in the same ideals/places.  If we say we are going to do something, we do it.  And, we hope friends would do the same, show us the same enthusiasm we show them.  It’s funny because I always tell those whose company I enjoy, “You are my friend in training.  I’ve already accepted you as a friend, I am waiting for you to friend me.”

As a Lover
We are know for our flirtatious and proactive pursuit.  We don’t like to “beat around the bush.”  Monotony and Aries do not equal long lasting relationships; we like to be engaged, passionate, and have adventures and while it is not easy to build a relationship with us, once we are committed we are honest and loyal for life.

As a Mother
We luv to dominate and are protective to a fault.  Very strict at times because we see the potential in our children, we want them to succeed.  We want our children to be well versed and happy, however, we as mommy’s demands compliance.  lol.  I have been told I am too hard on my son, and sometimes it is true but, I am not here to be his friend, I am here to prepare him for the world.  He knows he is loved, not only from me but his family too.

Moral of the Story
We are the first sign of the Zodiac, known for our fiery passion and exuberance.  We want to be known as pioneers; we like to take the road less traveled to give us a challenge.  Charisma and leadership is an innate ability we cherish and most wish they had.  We are forward in our thinking, leading us to express our love and feeling without thought.  We try to be understanding and sympathetic to others plight and while we may not show it, we are listening to you. We are also trying to figure out how we can help you.  Yes you did not solicit advice from us and as hard as it is to not give advice when you didn’t ask – don’t judge us, we are problem solvers.  It’s what we do.

I wrote this as a generalization of the community of Aries however, this is truly about me.  Haha – Ego.

Understanding someone’s sign can sometimes help you in understanding and dealing with a person.  And, while I don’t agree that you should solely go off their Zodiac Sign, I can say that it would definitely help.  As an Aries, I hope you were able to glimpse into who are we, via me and in return have an affinity of anyone who is an Aries in your life.

 

1-Luv

D

Let’s Start with Me – Part I of Loveee

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I am a conceited emotional mother of one. I am plus size, full figured, or overweight (pick one). I have anger management issues, no patience, and somewhat of a “no holds barred” personality; some would call me rude or non empathetic. I’d like to think I am sympathetic when needed. I make sure that I put the caveat out there, if you ask me for my opinion understand, it’s my opinion and if you don’t agree with it then take it with a grain of salt. I am silly, love learning, love playing video games, and love being a black woman. I am not a woman scorned from relationships that didn’t work, I am a glass half full once I release my anger, and I am a self motivator. I am a thinker and a semi perfectionist. I am humble. And, I am an ARIES. All of these things I did not understand nor accept until my late twenties. When I was younger, all I knew was that I was an emotional kid.

So, let’s take it back before I found out all of things about me…back to childhood. A childhood, I truly don’t remember. Only bits and pieces, as if I suppressed memories (which I would luv to remember). From what I do remember, I know, I was a handful. I would sit in my window waiting for my dad to come and pick me up everyday (from Friday to Sunday), cry because he didn’t pick me up then be excited because two weekends later he finally showed and then come home and boast about how he was my “hero” when all he did was drop me off at my grandmothers house and take me out to eat on Sunday before I went back home. I remember people always telling me I had beautiful skin and that I could be a model, but for me, as I stated in a previous post; peer words when you are a child are stronger than any adults words of wisdom and truth. If a kid tells you you are ugly, you believe it. I remember always trying to fit in and no matter how hard I tried, it would only last for a little while. I remember me and my younger sister always clashing; I would want to play dress up and she would want to be by herself and go and build something, I would want to play doctor and literally stick a sewing needle in her skin to see the blood (what was I thinking). Don’t judge me. I know I did my sister dirty. I was not the best to her. smh

Let’s fast forward to my teenage years. My dad came around a lot more often then. He would pick me up, buy me things (I guess to show me he luved me) and we would actually “spend” more time with each other over the weekend. When we went out to eat on Sunday’s before I went back home, he would force me to try something different. He would order it, tell me to eat it, and after I said I liked it he would tell me what it was. That way I could not say it was nasty if I already said I liked it. Clever tricks. Clever tricks. Now, at this point in life, my life’s mission was to make sure my hair was cute all the time, my clothes were on point, and that I knew the latest song, or “club” music mix. Mannnnnnnnn! Every thursday evening at 2100hrs, I would turn my radio on put my tape recorder next to the radio and make sure I did not make a sound so I could record the club music being played on the radio station. This was my way of having something to listen to on the way to school the next week with my friends. Because I couldn’t relate to the other things they were doing, watching and wearing, this was my way of being hip. However, by the time I turned 15 and 9 months, I got a job and was able to purchase upon approval from my mother the clothes I needed to be cool. I was going to the gym because it was everything to be skinny and by the time I went to prom and graduated, I thought I finally made it. I was cool. I had friends. NOT!!! All of that faded as soon as graduation was over.

19, working as “Top Flight Security” and I have a boyfriend. Oh! and I am living on my own. I am no longer a size 6 but a size 14 and gaining; things change when you have a man. lol. I am job hopping – chasing money, drumming up a lot of debt, and doing all things I thought I was supposed to do in order to keep a man… going down the rabbit hole of Loss Identity Syndrome©. Things didn’t work out, I am now single, depressed, delving into alcohol and video games (that was so much fun), shopping for therapy, and constantly trying to find solace in what? I don’t know. At this point, I am in my mid twenties receiving negative attention because of my assets. I mistook this wrong attention and used it as crutch for my newfound “self confidence.” I began to be rude and nasty to people who didn’t deserve it and clothes were just as worse. As I type this, I can only shake my head. Then, something happened where it finally clicked, that I needed to change my life around. I think it was my grandmother passing away that made me want to do better.

I was in my mid/late twenties at this point, I found a mentor to teach me how to budget and take care of me financially. I finally accepted the fact that I was overweight and accepting the fact that you are overweight is 50% of being on your way to a healthier you. So, I began going to the gym, not to be skinny but to be healthy. I began loving the skin I was in. I began taking school more seriously and graduated with my associates degree and I even took my job more seriously. I learned how to be humble. I started outlining my negatives I needed to work on and consistently enhancing my positives. And, while I am still plus size, I know that I will always be a work in progress, I know who I am and finally luv the person I became to be.

“I am the goddess of war
I am filled with passion
I love
I lead
I am honest to a T
I am an Aries”

Loving and knowing who you are is the first step into a fruitful future. Without it, you maybe successful but, there will always be a void. A want for more. If you have a mentor, counselor or therapist they can aid in self approva. At the end of the day, it is up to you to accept and/or change the person you are. It appears the average time to “learn” you is late twenties early thirties. The reason could be because of our maturity level and hard knocks we may have went through. Or, we may not have went through any struggle but have become more aware of who we are as a being.

In the famous words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell do you expect somebody else to love you.”

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Unless you are not a part of my progress, Do NoT eNtEr!!!

Who are You?…the prelude

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Our truths are what scares us,

Our fears try to drive us,

Our courage is what defines us.

Our destiny is written

and, our path can be driven

by the amount of effort we put in.

We are what holds us back.

Only we can demand

and, determine our success.

Before we fulfill our destiny,

We must accept our truths,

Understand who we/you are,

Acknowledge there is no wrong path,

Never give up,

Never accept nothing less

than the best

from anything and those around us,

Strive for excellence,

And, once life catches up

Sit back and watch your destiny manifest.



1-Luv

D

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Music

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Life is nothing but a walking musical.  Each moment, has a song/story to tell.  As I type this post, I am singing in my head, Eric Sermon’s , Just Like Music, in my head.  If someone is speaking to me and they say a trigger word, a song will appear and I laugh quietly.  Think about, when you are walking, talking, or doing something random, you ever notice how a song appears in the forefront of your mind?  Where do you think songs came from? Life’s experiences.

As much as I hate to admit I know the song, when I think of my best friend and how she’s doing with her new baby gurl, that dumbass song pops in my head, That’s my best friend by Young Thug.  Or, when someone is messing with my coins, I go semi – old school…”I’mma throw shade if I can’t get paid, you can slide to your girl like the army grenade, and itchy yitchy yaya with the marmalade…” Lil Kim (pre cosmetic surgery)

There are times, when I look at my son and think about how proud my grandmother would be if she were here and I start singing, Incubus, I Wish You Were Here – interpret the song how you will point being, there is a song for everything.  It makes the craziest of moments fun and a little stress free.  It can turn your anger into a mellower state (if that’s a word/phrase – if not, I am coining the phrase).

If it weren’t for music, how would those expression their emotions, no different than poetry, books, and even blogging.  Music is more of a melodic form that reaches the masses.  I was at a wedding recently, and the song the couple danced to was an expression of love shown to the crowd witnessing their union.  To me, my best friend, my mother and anyone else who knows me, writing and music is my release, I like to think I am the new, Sound of Music; I have a wide range in taste of music.  And if you try it, you might find that you like to dibble in being a walking musical as well.

 

4 P’s In A Pod

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You ever have that one friend you want to punch in the face because they “can’t get right?!?”  Always with some drama, never learns from their mistakes, never “drops” knowledge, wisdom, or laughter (not at someone’s expense) in others lives.  Question: why are you allowing them to be in your life?

Oh! I get it… initially it was to help them, guide the in the right direction; no one should struggle on their own, especially when you have the means to help.  However, when they take your kindness for weakness, you should probably time to let them go.  Hopefully, they will find their path in life.  In the meantime, make sure you keep building your circle; circle of success.

Start out with who you are?  Who are you?  Then make sure that each vacancy is filled.

Vacancies are subject but, not limited to:

  • Rachetness
  • Knowledge Drop’ers
  • Motherly Figures
  • Mr./Ms Spontaneity
  • Spiritual One
  • The Boughie One
  • And, always an Apprentice

While few try not to admit it, everyone needs that “Ratchet” friend; they bring that spice to your life and will do things you only dream of.  Your “Knowledge Drop’er” is the one you go to for information/perspectives you never thought of, the “Motherly Figure” is exactly what the name implies.  She keeps you in check when you are getting out of hand, makes sure you are okay whether it be feeding, comforting, protecting you or, telling you about yourself when you f’d up.  “Mr/Ms. Spontaneity” will remind everyone that you can work hard but, you also need to play harder.  The “Spiritual One” is your Zen, your spiritual base; they are the one’s who views life from a holistic perspective (you need clarity).  The Apprentice is the next in line; everyone needs someone who they can look  up to.  Whether it be you, someone else in the group or, a collective effort, your apprentice will feed off the knowledge you bestow and continue to pay it forward.  And then, the “Boughie One,” their attitude and fashion is something we can all take and mold to form us.  Remember, there are levels to anything in life.

And, that friend that can’t get right…Girl, BYE!!!

So, while you do not need to label your friends, it is always fun to figure out who you are in the group and assess who you friends are.  In one of my miniature circles, we gave ourselves names, Classy, Fast, Ole, World Wide; I am the Classy One.  The good thing about our circle, we have been friends for years, we have our good days and bad days, we feed positivity off of each other, accept each others flaws and individuality.  We are four peas in a pod, and I luv it.

Circles do not have to be big.  Your group of friends and family should distill nothing but positive energy in your life and if they don’t then maybe their season has come to an end.  I think sometimes, we as humans get so caught up in status of any relationship and don’t realize how drained we are from those who are slowly taking our energy away from us.  We sit and allow them to do so until one day we become so fed up that we say things we really didn’t mean to say and hurt them in the process.  Once we figure out who we are and what mark we want to leave in this world, we can begin to chip away at those who take and never deposit and reach our full potential.

Growing up, if you did not finish eating your vegetables (peas) you could not leave the table.  Those veggies were what made you healthy and strong is what your parents would say. LOL!!!  Well…

1-Luv

D

P.S. This post is dedicated to my crew “4 P’s in a Pod”