https://youtu.be/YyEbAoFrYtg
(listen while you read. I do not own the rights to this song)
The human make up is conditioned to want companionship whether it be friends, luv’rs, children, or animals. We need to fill the void. I am not a scientist and when I thought for 5.2 seconds to go into the field of psychology I quickly realized that was not the life for me. I would be fired within a day. What I am, is observant and an avid researcher on topics I find interesting.
Think about it. We try to connect with individuals through conversation. Feel the vibes of how close our relationship will be. Friend zone to Like Like Zone to Luv Zone. We try. All else fails we get a pet. Divorce Rate- “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. (Marriage and Divorce, 2019)” “rates of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s,(HBR ‘Forbes,’2018)”
I was once told by someone that I would be single for the rest of my life because of the way I interact with men. Normally that would hurt like hell to hear and it stung a little but, I had to remind the person I was speaking to that I would rather be straightforward than to pussyfoot around with each other’s intentions. I have too much at stake in my personal life to play pretend and quite honestly, I am too damn old to play games. I understand the need to concede to certain aspects of relationship building but, I was once told by someone extremely important in my life, “Treat the person you are interested in like a friend. That’s how you build your foundation.” Most rush into luv and most of the time fall out of luv just as quickly.
I was talking to a gurl I know who said she would never get married. She was happy being alone. She did not need a man to make her complete. She focused on what she needed to do to make herself happy and let the puzzle pieces called “life” position themselves accordingly. Dot dot dot she happened to reconnect with a high school friend by chance, rekindled their friendship not thinking anything would come out of it only to be surprised by the “luv connection” looming above. What their future may hold no one knows, the beauty of life is, she is happy.
There have been several people in my life so desperate to luv; met someone, “befriended,” married them only to be divorced. End of story. No one wants to go through that but it happens.
I met a guy who is my homie for life. Did the thought cross my mind that we could be more than friends? I would be a liar if I say it didn’t. All the same, dude is my homie. We talk about life, kids, movies, science fiction, work, amongst other things. Friends, how many of us have them? If I have a question, I know I can go to him. If I need to vent, I have an ear to abuse. Friends, the one’s you can depend on.
In today’s society, the art of building a relationship has become both difficult and easy at the same time. From “meet up” groups to dating sites the art of fostering relationships have changed from analog to digital. I use to cringe on “digital-ships” because I am semi old school but I have also seen it work well. For me, I am still that hopeless romantic who is “willing the gods” to place someone in my path by chance and build brick by brick our foundation. Some could say I am dooming myself to fail but who’s to say I am not? “Friendships are vital for wellbeing, but they take time to develop and can’t be artificially created. (2019, Psych Central)”
Hood Citations
2019.https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce
Collingwood, J. (2019). The Importance of Friendship. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 5, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-friendship/
l8ynred 